How will they believe?

Yesterday I went with a dear friend to a woman's house who is a refugee. My friend had known the woman's family before, and had seen the lady the night before when she took a gift to her young child. My friend, Andrea-same name, different person- had asked the woman at that time if she could come over and share the story about God with her. The woman said yes... She said yes... She wanted to hear this story....WOW!! So my friend invited me to come along.

We picked up a teenager who spoke the woman's language so that he could translate the story accurately and she could understand more. My friend began the story, the teen translated, and it began. I quickly learned part of my purpose being there was for prayer and distracting the extremely hyper 4-year-old boy. But I was thrilled to just even be used by God for that purpose. 

After returning from outside with the boy, Andrea informed me that the woman wanted to believe and they were going to begin a frequent Bible Study so that she could hear the full story of our God. I was ecstatic, but had some difficulty believing it had been that easy. Really, she just needed to hear the story? She already wanted to believe? It didn't take much convincing? Then afterwards, all throughout the night and into the next morning, this verse kept popping into my mind:

Romans 10:14-15
How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard?And how will they hear without a preacher? How will they preach unless they are sent? Just as it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!"

How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? How will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? She knew some of this God. She had friends and relatives who followed this God instead of the gods of her religion, but she hadn't been given the opportunity to hear the full story of her God who loves her and desires relationship with her. She could not call on Him yet because she had not believed in Him yet. But God had been calling her. Obviously, it was not just our story that made her want to believe. Our God had been calling her spirit. Calling her to believe in Him, to return to relationship with Him. So how beautiful were the feet of my friend Andrea who brought Good News of Good Things!!! 

I was convicted. Am convicted. Convicted of all those times that I have not told those who need to hear of the Good News of Good Things. I pray and have faith that the people whom I have missed telling of the Good News to, that God will bring along another child to tell them the Good News, so that they may believe. 

How faithful God is to answer my prayers. I had asked Him to remind me of His call. His call to all believers, including me, to be the sent, the preacher, those beautiful feet bringing Good News of Good Things. Good Things!!!! Salvation! (Romans 10:9-10) Relationship!! Love, hope, faith! All those things that our God promises us when we believe in Him.

So, I'm called. You're called. We're called. Preach the Good News! So they may hear. So they may believe. So they may call on Him. 

Pouring Out the Water

I typically use Google Chrome web browser. When I open up Chrome, it brings up 8 different options of websites for me to go to first, the websites I visit most. However, occasionally I have to use Internet Explorer. I set up Explorer to have my Homepage be the devotional by Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest. This devotional has probably been one of the most impactful devotionals in my life. No matter when I read it, I don't read it every day, but when I read it, the Lord will challenge me with Oswald's thoughts. So yesterday I had to open up Internet Explorer and the devotional came up. I ignored it for the moment, but I can't escape that Holy Spirit's conviction of the fact that I haven't set aside time for the Lord yet. So several hours passed, and I did other things, and then I still came up to the devotional. So I finally read it. http://utmost.org/pouring-out-the-water-of-satisfaction/

¹⁵ David longed for water and said, “Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!” ¹⁶ So the three mighty warriors broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David. But he refused to drink it; instead, he poured it out before the Lord. 

As I read the devotion, I had a hard time comprehending what Oswald was saying. I thought I may be getting the gist of it though. He was discussing that whatever blessings we have been given lately, "love, friendship, or maybe some spiritual blessing," that those things are to be given back to the Lord. Poured out. He posed the question, Am I taking those blessings as only satisfaction for myself? Or am I giving/pouring them out before the Lord as David did in the passage above? He longed for water, and the soldiers went and got him water, but then David did not drink it, he sacrificed/gave/poured out the water before the Lord. 

I have been pondering the meaning of this the last 24 hours. Curious as to what blessings I have noticed in my life recently that I have taken for my own satisfaction and not poured out before the Lord. I've been sick with a bad cold for several days now. And my friends have been so gracious to me to either wish me well thoughts of healing, or even offering and planning to bring me things that I need-medicine, food, kleenex, etc. Also, I am planning a trip to India. And my friends and family have supported me so wonderfully for this trip, and some specifically even informing me of their desire to also help support me financially for the trip. As I was on the phone with my friend Andrea earlier and she was offering to bring me anything I needed since I was sick, I exclaimed to her how great all of my friends have been. AND IT HIT ME. That's the thing I need to pour out; the blessing of friendship and love l have been receiving so abundantly over the last few months. And I understood what Oswald Chambers meant! So I stopped what I was doing, and stood there, and thanked the Lord for this incredible blessing, but told Him I wanted to give it back to Him. To sacrifice it down before Him. I think I still have a ways to go to learn what that actually looks like. But that is my hearts desire. To be faithful in sacrificing back to Him the blessing He has given me. 

So if you've been a part of the Lord's blessing to me of friendship and love, thank you. And I challenge you to question in your own life the things that the Lord has blessed you with that you can pour out back to Him. 

Just want to write...

Sometimes I just want to write. And the hope is that I would have a specific topic with specific thoughts on that topic, but today, after listening to a sermon, I wanted to write. And I didn't have all of my thoughts nicely and succinctly in line in my brain. So i left the computer, did a few things, and yet, the pull the write came back. Now, I don't write on here much, so I don't expect anyone to read what I write. So then there is the discussion in my head where I consider writing everything I think of with no filter because no one will ever read it, and then there's the other side where I wonder if maybe I should post the link to the blog on my FB page. But then, do I really want everyone to come read this? Cause I don't consider myself a good writer. I'm a journaler, yes, but it is more of a conversation that something well written that is very enjoyable to read. But I figure, people can continue to read if they so desire, or they can stop. So here goes nothing. We'll see where it goes and what I decide to do with it.

I'm sick. Bad cold. But oh well, it happens in life. It makes me sit down and relax more because I don't have a choice. I chose not to expose the people at my church this morning to my cold, so I watched a video series of sermons by Louie Giglio I bought last year. It's on Grace. A topic that I hope will never ever grow old to me in my life. My hope is that I will continuously grow more and more in awe of grace through my life. That as I grow as a person, and age etc, that I will recognize and understand more the depth of my sin, and therefore, the beauty and awesomeness of His grace incredibly more. I love the word lavish that one of the verses in the Bible uses to describe it. Ya know. Lavish. Well, actually I think that that verse is about love: How great is the love the Lord has lavished upon us, that we may be called sons and daughters of God. But His grace is lavish too! Man, without anything else, just grace in and of itself, is lavish. It is so undeserved, yet we get it. We are like kings! Living lavishly! We get grace!!

One of my favorite things about Sunday and about church is that it tends to bring me back to the cross. Some sermons and Sundays more than others. But as a general rule. It brings me back. My hope is that my life doesn't look any different on Sundays than other days of the week. However, there is the reality that as the week goes on, I allow myself to be so distracted. Well, in general, I get distracted easily. Through the week I interact with God, ask Him to give me strength at work, read His word some days, learn from it. So all of those things are good. But the thing I hope generally happens on my Sundays, and hopefully more on other days too, but on Sundays, I'm brought back to the central point: Salvation.

God is there to be with me at work, to help me become more like Him, to give me strength when I feel weak, to encourage me. But the FOUNDATION of all of those things is my SALVATION. I must be reminded that I am a sinner! And I require salvation to be placed back into relationship with God! Louie Giglio used this example of this man's longest long jump, 29 feet or something like that. I can't jump that. And just as I can't jump that, I can't jump the gap between God and I that was made because of my sin. But God can, and He did. 

2 Corinthians 5:19: That God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them. 

He doesn't count my sins against me.

2 Corinthians 5:20-21 ...we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 

He was my sin, and I became His righteousness. 

My salvation. That's what the rest of my week stems from. That is what every other aspect of my relationship with God roots from: my salvation. May my thankfulness and joy in my salvation grow and grow!! My I understand the depth of my salvation more and more every day! 

May I remember my salvation, and be awed by it and His grace every single day, in every single interaction. 

He is good.

In Love with Him

Every day I am amazed by the depth of love I continue to fall into with my Savior. I constantly have this feeling of missing Him, like I'm not close enough, I'm not loving Him enough, I don't realize His love for me enough. And though I don't quite understand what this feeling of missing Him means, I question if this is what it means to be an alien on this earth. That I will always miss Him until I am in His presence in Heaven.

I am continually amazed with how much I am realizing I love Him. How deep the feeling goes. Yet I have this feeling that the love will/must continue to go deeper. I can tell there is a part of my soul desiring a deeper love still, a greater realization of my Creator and Savior.

I am in awe of the intricacies of which my Savior is involved. How faithful He is to hear all of my requests and desires, and respond to them. How He hears the requests of my brothers and sisters in Christ and responds to them on my behalf as well. I have been so very very thankful to my family in Christ-not quite understanding how/why they are so good, why they are so kind. I only hope I am able to be the same sister in Christ in return to them.

I am in the Old Testament in my readings. I have learned so much from Moses and the Israelites and God's commands and His promises and His holiness. God commands them that when they enter into the Promised Land and enjoy the wells they didn't dig, and the vineyards they didn't grow and the olive groves they didn't plant, they not forget Him. He is the one who led them out of slavery in Egypt to this Land filled with wonderful things they didn't have to work or toil for. Just as God led me out of slavery-out of bondage of sin by no work of my own, but by only work of His, of Christs' sacrifice on the cross-thus leading me into freedom, being clean, back into relationship with Him. May I never forget my salvation is of no work of my own, but only of Christ.

To be continued..... Wow, how I love my Lord.

Amazed By Grace, How Great Thou Art

It's 8:30 am, I should have clocked out at 7:15, but nope, about 8:15. I'm not even home yet; we don't have internet... so I am in the library at my work to write this post because I was blown away by something a couple hours ago.

Last night... let's say.... was a hard night. Really really hard.

This morning was stressful. Hm, I kind of got spit at, a patient had problems going on we weren't sure how to explain, I hadn't finished even the important charting, much less the unimportant charting.

I go into a patients room to draw their blood and give them their medications. I asked my patient "What is the secret behing long life?" And she tells me something along the lines of "I have always had the Lord as the stronghold of my life." I agree with her and tell her I do too. I ask her what her favorite hymns are. Her daughter starts naming a few, so, naturally in my "Sing whenever I feel like it" manner, I start singing. I start singing "How Great Thou Art." I sticking her with a needle while singing, fun. ;) But she and her daughter loved it. And I was struck in that moment how much singing the song had calmed me too. I went back to the supply room to get another needle, and I teared up for a second as I apologized to the Lord for my attitude through the night and was offered this chance of redemption, of a sweet opportunity to not only sing to Him, but to encourage a sick patient with singing to Him. He had grace on me to offer me those moments at the end of a shift where I had justification to be in the mood I was in, but it wouldn't have been the mood He would have been in. I was amazed at His grace, and I sang that one, and "It is Well with my Soul." And that simple act of singing to them as I drew my patients blood may have, and they expressed it did, totally change their morning. I had the opportunity to be a blessing above and beyond my normal nursing duties. Thank You Lord.

The daughter is coming prepared with names of songs for me to sing tonight. ;) I told her I would sing one each time I came in the room to do something. We'll see how it goes, but I'm looking forward to it. Now, I need to go trust my grace-giving God to give me restful, deep sleep and wake up super refreshed 6 hours from now. I love You Lord.

The Sun is Rising Outside My Window

The sun is rising outside my window. It wasn't totally my choice to be awake right now. But here I am. Here's my inspired attempt at poetry. God's response to my cry out to Him a few hours ago. The rhythm doesn't always work right, but that's not the important part.

You say trust Me, and I say why?

You say You know me, will I just try?

You say I'm here

I won't let you down

Come now, draw near

No, you won't drown

I want to run deeper

Deeper and further

Into my hiding

Further and further

But You say turn around

That's the wrong way

Come back now

It's the narrow way

But I'll guide you

Protect you

Tell you where to turn

Here's my voice

Don't you hear it?

It's here with the burn

The burn that's inside of you

Don't get confused

Come now,

Draw nearer

You'll hear my voice clearer

That's it,

Keep on turning

You're doing it right

I'm teaching

I'm molding

Pruning

That's right

I know, dear, it hurts

I have felt deeper pain

But trust me

It's better

Just keep coming nearer

You see

There it is

I told you I'd show you

And yes, you're right

There's that

You asked for that too

Remember?

I'm faithful

You've praised me for that

Look what I've done

I won't let you down

Come now, draw nearer

Yes, that's the way to go

You're right

Come seek me

But it takes all your heart

Not just your heart

But your soul and mind too

Oh, love, here I am

You have found me

Now let me show you

I love you

I love you

How can I show you more?

You see

Yes, you've seen

Him there? Yes

He's My Son

We planned it this way

See I love Him so much

But since I love you too

We made a plan

He took my wrath

Yeah, you're right

It's a lot

But He took it all

Took it there on that cross

I took it out on Him

It ripped me to shreds

But here, look now

He's arisen

White

Not dead

He's alive

So are you

I can look at you now

That wrath you deserved

It's gone

He took all that lot

My grace,

My mercy

I can now shed on you

Here it is

Come closer

I will draw you

My beloved

I love you

I am here

Don't forget

For everything

For always

I am yours

You are mine

So, child, trust me

Trust me with your heart

Come now, draw nearer

I know where to start

Press in

Fight hard

And always look ahead

See me

Look I'm here

Look up at that cross

When you're not sure

Press forward

Go ahead

Trust

Pray

Endure

Have faith

Just keep listening

And always draw nearer

Here, hear my voice

See, recognize it now

Draw nearer

Know it

Distinguish it from anything else

This is me...

Your Beloved

He still surprises me

Rundown of my life the last 28 hours: Get home from work-throw my stuff EVERYWHERE b/c the roomies are out of town. Hmm.. what do I feel like, well, computer first.... I guess I should take a hot shower-HOT-I run all the hot water out. I sit and watch Harry Potter 2 while munching on chocolate chips and pretzels in my  comfy pajama's. Let's point out that God was impressing upon me that I should spend time with Him, however, does it look like that happened? Nope. Ohh, not to mention I had a woodchuck cider with my chocolate chips and pretzels. I'm feeling good. Finally fall asleep around 2 pm for about 5 hours. Get up, call mom, eat leftovers, go to the tanning bed, come home, go back to sleep. Until 4 am. Get up, do laundry, clean the house-b/c I had thrown EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE earlier. Get back in bed about 6 am, think about how I should read my Bible, it's lying in front of me, but what happens first???? I fall ASLEEP. Surprised right?! Until 9 am. Wake up, think about getting up. Go back to sleep. Wake up at 1030, think about finding a church to go to closer than mine that's 30 minutes away since I have to work tonight. I get online, look for churches in the area... get to one called Oasis, it mentions live streaming their service, so then it dawns on me, why don't I just watch my church service that is live streamed?!?! So.. I do. And He is oh so faithful to me.
THE POINT OF THIS POST:  
 I had been realizing I was knowingly sinning against Him. Purposely doing other things that temporarily satisfy me over spending time with my Savior. Can we say Israel in the Old Testament?? So my pastor begins preaching on the narrow and the wide gate in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. Immediately I begin to think of myself. He said, "Why do people choose the wide gate over the narrow gate? Because people value temporary ease over eternal reward." And I think about yesterday morning, my temporary enjoyment after a few hard days work. Matthew 7:13 says, "ENTER"- entering is a deliberate choice. Then he went to Mark 8:34: "If anyone wishes (desires) to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me." Only having the desire to follow Him isn't enough to enter the narrow gate. It requires us also to deny ourself-our desires, die to ourselves (take up my cross) and become a disciple (follow Him). Luke 13:24 says: "Strive to enter through the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able ." He said the greek word strive in english is also translated to agonize. We must agonize, work to enter through the narrow gate. We must go through obstacles, it isn't easy. But what is through the narrow gate? Our prize. Heaven. Eternity with our Creator. 1 Peter 1:4 " to obtain an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you." That's what we strive to go through the narrow gate for. He challenged me not to settle for the wide gate. Or have one foot on the wide path and one on the narrow, but both striving for the narrow.

THEN a friend messages me on skype - we talk, and they ask for forgiveness for some ways in which they hurt me. I've been waiting months for this. I've been trying to forgive them without them even asking for it. And now they are apologizing and asking for forgiveness. And I can't believe it. I'm so thankful, of course I forgive them. It makes it easier when they recognize they're wrong and they ask doesn't it? I'm able to remain friends with this person and I am so thankful.

So, in addition to just the sheer beauty of the way He blessed me today- forgave me today and helped me forgive a friend, I was SO SURPRISED by the way He orchestrated everything. I slept weird hours the last day, but I got up at 10. I didn't leave the house, but watched my church on the computer. If I hadn't been on the computer I wouldn't have been able to talk and have reconciliation with my friend. He perfectly worked it all. HE IS ALWAYS CAPABLE OF SURPRISING US.